Lost and Found

November 11, 2008 at 12:43 am (About me)

A rather strange thing happened this week. I lost an old friendship and found an old friendship.

The older I get the less inclined I am to tolerate behaviour I at one time found amusing, or tolerable. I’m 31 *choke* and have weathered some truly horrible experiences. I’ve lost everything only to earn it all back, I’ve faced homelessness, serious illness, loss, betrayel, and universal animosity, and I’ve done so with as mmuch grace as I am able to muster. However, with adversity comes change and while I am fairly happy to continue growing and changing, there are those of my acquaintance who would prefer that we all remain frozen in time.

I found myself unable to mollify a woman I was once fairly good friends with. To be honest, our friendship was really one of convenience; we had our daughters at the same time and had both moved from the same small town to theĀ  big city at approximately the same time. It made sense to be friendly and to lean on each other.

However, as time went on I became less inclined to listen to her browbeat me for the decisions I’ve made and even less inclined to tolerate her staggeringly egocentric personality.

I’m sorry to say that this week we ended our friendship officially. Actually, no, I am not sorry. The feeling that swept over me when I realised I would never, ever have to hear her voice again was relief. Relief that it was over, relief that it was done in such a way so as to make reconciliation impossible, relief that I now have one less uneducated know-it-all to justify my decisions to.

Curiously, I found my best friend from high school in the same week and had an amazing conversation with him. Realised, as did he, that time and difficult experiences haven’t soured the bond that we had all those years ago (and oddly, still seem to) and began making plans to get together in the flesh and tear it up just like we used to. Needless to say, the feeling that swept over me after reconnecting transcended relief!

I am filled with joy and feeling so good about both this week and the future.

As to my former friend, well, to be truthful, we haven’t been friends for a long time. I just think neither of us wanted to admit it. I wish for her a life that gives back to her everything she puts out in this world.

Take that whichever way you will.


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